Self-Introduction Email

To: Brad Blackstone
From: Wirda Azlin Binte Hamzah
Date: 13 January 2016
Subject: Wirda’s Introduction

Dear Brad,

My name is Wirda Azlin and I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in Integrated Events and Projects Management in 2012. Before enrolling for this course at SIT, I spent two and a half years working at SAFRA National Service Association in the Project and Event department as a Projects and Events coordinator.

The events I managed included formal, mid-scale annual general meetings for 500 attendees, to informal large-scale family events which catered to approximately 11,000 attendees. It was then when I truly realised how important effective communication is in order to deliver a seamless event. The experiences I had further added to my passion to continue in this industry and to challenge myself to tackle new and unfamiliar event formats.

In SAFRA, I participated in monthly board meeting to provide updates on my department’s financial budget and event progress. I also previously worked in several front line service positions where I was required to interact with guests and customers. These aided me in developing my presentation and interpersonal skills.

However, I still feel there are room for improvements in terms of my academic and formal writing skills. I usually spend a lot of time going through what I have written and often feel unsure whether the piece is free from of any grammatical error or if it contains informal sentence structure. As practice makes perfect, I look forward to improving the speed, accuracy and style of my writing during this course.

Yours sincerely,

Wirda

Post revised on 17 Jan

Post commented: Michelle, Jocelyn, Chris

 

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10 thoughts on “Self-Introduction Email

  1. Brad Franklin Blackstone says:

    Dear Wirda,

    Thank you for this very timely submission. I appreciate the fact that you have already created your blog and posted this assignment so early. It is concise and yet quite detailed, and thus, suited to the assignment. It is also fairly clearly written.

    I enjoyed learning about your prior study and extensive work background. It’s clear you already have significant experience in the events field, so I’m sure I’ll be learning from you.

    At the same time, please allow me to make a couple suggestions on how you could improve this letter both language-wise and stylistically. My suggestions are as follows:

    1. It is then when I truly realised … >>> (verb tense inconsistency) ?

    2. …when I truly realised the importance of effective communication is in order to deliver a seamless event. >>> (sentence structure)
    when I truly realised how important effective communication is in order to deliver a seamless event.

    3. The experiences I bagged further cements…. >>> (verb tense/wording)

    The experiences I had further added to my passion….

    4. I have also previously worked in several front line service positions where I was required to interact with guests and customers. These have tremendously aided me in my presentation and interpersonal skills.

    >>> (verb tense: You don’t need to use present perfect in these two sentences.)

    I also previously worked in several front line service positions where I was required to interact with guests and customers. These aided me in developing my presentation and interpersonal skills.

    5. subject-verb disagreement:

    — …there are room for improvement >>> ?

    — …the piece is free from of any grammatical errors or contain … >>>

    6. Yours Sincerely, >>> ?

    See http://englishplus.com/grammar/00000051.htm

    These are largely minor issues, Wirda. I appreciate your willingness to share your experiences with us, and I look forward to learning more about you this term.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    Like

    • Wirda says:

      Dear Brad,

      Thank you for taking time to read my introduction letter. Upon reading your comments, I do admit that some of the mistakes which I have made are silly grammatical errors. I have since updated my letter and the amendments are formatted in italics.

      I look forward to the next assignment!

      Wirda

      Like

  2. Michwrh says:

    Hey Wirda! Wow, I look forward to hear more of the experiences you have had in the past! Just like you, I always spend much time editing my writings. Let’s work hard together:)

    Like

  3. tiffanypf says:

    Dear Wirda,

    I enjoyed reading your letter and I learnt so much about you that I didn’t know. I admire the vast amount of experience you have and I got so much to learn from you. Similarly, I feel that we have to same thing to improve on, let’s work hard this trimester together to improve our academic and formal writing skills! Look forward to read more of your post!

    Warmest regards,
    Tiffany Yeo

    Like

  4. szepeitay says:

    Dear Wirda,

    I have always admired the confidence that you have while speaking in front of the crowd. Hope I will learn more from you through this module and let us work hard together!

    Yours sincerely,
    Szepei

    Like

    • Wirda says:

      Dear Szepei,
      Speaking well takes practice and I feel I have a lot more to learn myself. I do stumble sometimes but I always believe that practice makes progress 🙂 Yes, lets work hard together! See you in seminar soon!

      Like

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